I'm here!

I'm in Chicago!

Now, I could throw together a long, pitchblende essaylet about my trip, full of pith and vitriol aimed at airplane seats that are not designed to fit certain human beings who are, shall we say, not shorty little shortingtons. But no, I do not particularly feel like complaining on this day. And that is what 'pitchblende' means... to complain, or in a complaining manner.

Okay, no, pitchblende means "a massive variety of the mineral uraninite," according to captain dictionary, but nuts to that. Words are such vague little beasties that if I used it in the proper context enough times without flinching, nobody would be the wiser. Eventually, they'd start using it too, and eventually all but the most pedantic of people would accept it without a pitchblende. Indeed, surely it would form its own distinct little implication... an impotent diatribe might be a pitchblende, whereas a complaint that might have an effect would be, well, a complaint. People would pitchblende about "pitchblende"... how ironic.

... I know that's not what "ironic" means, I was using it ironically. Isn't that ironic?

That last time I just used "ironic" wrong. Which is, as it stands, ironic. I could go into a long and angry pitchblende about how people use the term wrong, but you know, there's no real point to it. For one thing, my Affirmative Action Minority Friend, Jose, will probably take care of that for me. For another, it'd be pretty hypocritical of me, given that I intend to use 'pitchblende' as often as possible, and ask you all to do so also, so that I may become famous like Shakespeare.

Shakespeare invented the word "puke".

"Pitchblende", I think, fulfills a verbal nitche that remains empty, but for the socially-unacceptable "to bitch", which can't be easily used as a noun or without context. So, I ask you all to do a favor for me, and more importantly, for American English... use it. Reading someone's crappy little Xanga, call them on pitchblending. The opponent of your politician of choice, call him a pitchblender. The agenda of the nearest inherently racist social organization? One big pitchblende.

One man alone cannot rewrite the dictionary, and I've been having a hell of a time making my other word stick. Let's do this... together.