Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Awkward. Nobody likes it when things are awkward.

Okay, I'm sure some people like it when things are awkward. Hell, I'm sure that somebody, somewhere, has an awkward fetish. At about six billion people, it's a virtual certainty.


Anyway, awkward. This week is a celebration of the awkward, as today many awkward things happened. Awkwardly.

I awkwardly talked to Cute Waitress on the phone. Suggestion, when talking to a serviceperson in a non-service context, do not say the following. "Man, I have no idea how to interact with you on a social level when I'm not paying for the privilege." That's my line.

I awkwardly got into Cute Waitress's car (awkward because it's tiny and I'm huge), and went to a party that was initially slightly awkward due to the proliferation of strangers (an estimated 100% stranger rate), and quickly escalated to Supremely Awkward and Horrible due to Circumstances that I care not to Discuss with the Public but which are totally Not My Fault. Later, Somewhat less awkward drive home and awkward but at least pleasantly so goodbyes.

Today, awkward bus ride. Ladies and gentlemen, today marked the second time in my life that I rode the bus by myself. What can I say, I've never had cause to, but I had a job interview to get to. Speaking of...

Amazingly awkward job interview. Somehow, the lady who told me when to come in for the interview did not inform the lady who would be there to give the interview, and my application was nowhere to be found, and really, for all they know, I walked in off the street and pretended they were thinking of hiring me. Interviews that begin with accusations of the sort are, I will guess, unideal.

Tomorrow, there will be a hopefully-not-awkward trip to the airport.

Following that, and awkward flight to Chicago... the plane does not have the kind of seats I fit in. One hopes the stewardess will sense my plight and kill the man in front of me, that his seat can be removed and my legs can fit.

And an awkward return to family. Who I love, honestly. But... um... I don't live there anymore. I have a permanent address now. All my friends live here (Amber excepted). My life is here, in New York. And while they may understand and accept this... I know it's as awkward for them to see me as it is for me to see them. And that just makes things more awkward.

... so yeah. I've got nothing philosophical to wax tonight. Nor am I pitchblende about my life, really. Awkwardness happens, I'm just getting a whole lot of it in one fell swoop. Let's hope it fades away in the soon time.

P.S.: after a while, the word 'awkward' doesn't just lose it's meaning, it ceases to sound like a word at all. Words are fun.

P.P.S.: "pitchblende" was what the Spell Czech suggested for "bitch-plaining", a combination of bitching and complaining. I decided to keep it.


Anonymous AAMF said...

I really should try the "Pretend you have a job interview when you really don't" routine. Let me know how that goes.

8/09/2006 5:38 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home