"H- hello?"

Juan? Juan, is that you?

"Si."

Gosh-a-roonies, Juan, it's been ages since you've shown up. What's been going on?

"I've been pushed into the back of your mind, boss. I represent the inherently comic nature of your personality, but in your current state of mind, I haven't really had a chance to exist."

I see...

"No, you don't."

Says who?

"Says me boss, I live up here, I know what's going on. You, on the other hand, are oblivious to the goings-on in your own mind."

Since when did you have an attitude?

"Since I realized, boss, that you can't will me out of existance. If anything has grown obvious over the last few days, its that your mind is under its own control, and its various elements- me, your id, the demon of self-doubt- we all run around independant of your wishes. If you could banish any of us, you would have sent your dozens of neuroses to the cornfield ages ago. So, really, boss... we're in charge. Why, then, shouldn't I have an attitude?"

Oh, Juan, very clever. You're a smart one, must account for a pretty big chunk of neurons. But you've missed the all-too-obvious.

"What?"

You aren't a person living in my mind, Juan.

"Que?"

You're a literary device, Juan. You're a method in which I choose to write, to better express internal dialogues. I can't will you out of existance, becuase you don't exist. The mind doesn't work that way, 'Herman's Head' notwithstanding. No, Juan, you've gone and made me angry, so I'm going stop writing in this style... let's say... midway through your next sentance.

"Wait, no, that doesn't even make sense; it's stupid and self-contradic

And that's then end of that chapter. In the sense that I'm feeling slightly more lucid, and actually making progress in my pile of crap to do. And hey, if I can keep it up for a few days, I might lose the emo alltogether... switch it out for something awesome. We'd all like that, yes? Yes. YES!