One fortnight to go!

Not quite as exciting as that twelve days of christmas countdown, for you people anyway, but I'm seeing Nicole again in two weeks. Woo, joy, happiness et cetera amd so forth. You don't care. Well, one of you might care a little, but the bulk of you don't. I shall thus refrain from going into excessive detail, the other ninety-nine percent of my clientele is almost, but not quite, as important to me as the one who would care. And those folks came for some hardcore comedy, right? Let me hear you say 'YEAH!'

"Yes."

I said, I wanna hear 'YEAH!'

"Oh, sorry. Yeah."

That's all the excitement you could dredge up? Try again!

"Y-... yeah!"

ALL CAPS YOU BASTARD! IT'S NOT SHOUTING UNLESS IT'S IN ALL CAPS!

"But... but..."

Do it now or I'll carve off your face with a sliver of soap, I swear on all I hold dear!

"That doesn't even seem possible!"

I'VE GOT THE SOAP RIGHT HERE! I'LL DO IT!

"Okay, okay! Um... YEAH?"

...excamation point...

"I mean, YEAH!"

Very good. Unfortunately we ran out of time for the hardcore comedy. Better luck next week.

"But-"

I'll soap you good, boy!

"Eeep!"