V-v-v-v-v-v-v-vampires!

Right, there's a little less Ed to go around today. Indeed, about a pint less. Yes, kids, today was my day to give blood. A little extreme, but you can think of another way to get free animal crackers, I'd like to hear it. Besides, giving blood is a good thing to do. You get a little sticker and a huge bandage, to maximize the respect you get from your peers. You get those little tiny cups of cranberry juice that I love so very very much (I managed to smuggle twenty of them out of the compound in a hollowed out loaf of bread). You get to tell a complete stranger just who you're not having sex with.

Speaking of the pre-poke interview, am I the only one who can barely hold back from saying utterly inappropriate things? Specifically, when asked if I have ever been offered money or drugs in exchange for sex, there's a little man in the back of my head who starts screaming, in a very casual way, "Are... are you propositioning me?" And when the guy doing the interview asks if I've had sexual contact with a man since 1977, I always sort of want to say "Not yet..." and then touch his hand in a significant manner. Of course, I'm glad I'm not the one giving the interview, because I know I'd never be able to resist that sort of thing if I do it any more often than once every other month. I can see it now... coming to the end of another tedious game of '20 increasingly personal questions', I'd get to the friendly reliever question at the end, "Are you feeling well and healthy today?" "Yes," they'd say, glad to be done with it and eager to get some water. Without missing a beat, I'd jump to "Since 1977 have you had sex, even once, with someone who is feeling well and healthy today?" There'd be a long pause, and then I'd laugh and tell them to get some juice. And then I'd get fired. Because that's how society works.

Contrary to the title of this post, I did not run into any vampires. There was that tribe of roving cannibal molemen, but that's another story. A completely different story entirely. In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw it on television.