Forget Hanks. See 'Dodgeball'.

Dodgeball, the original sport of champions. And a funny, funny movie. Oh yes! Not lighthearted, character-focused comedy, either. I mean sock-rocking, people-getting-hit-in-the-face-hard-and-often comedy. Whee!

Okay, it's not a cinematic classic; Ben Stiller is playing a musclebound Derek Zoolander, Vince Vaughn is so low-key that a few scenes might have been played by a wax sculpture of Norman Bates, but it all works together to maximize the funny. And... well, there's no easy way to say this: Alan Tudyk plays a pirate. Alan Tudyk. From 'Firefly'. Oh, don't tell me I haven't gone on my 'Firefly' rant before! About how FOX cancelled the most promising new SF show in decades (I love 'Star Trek', but so help me if 'Enterprise' hasn't had one season's worth of good shows in the last three years). Well, I'll rant at a later date, when I've gone a week without an update but don't have anything interesting to say. For now, just know that there's is a very funny man playing a pirate in this movie.

"Yay?"

Yes, 'yay'. Okay, I'll level with you, 'Dodgeball' doesn't bring anything new to the table; do you really think the team called 'Average Joes' is going to lose to the creepy jerk that wants to annex their little gym into his huge, corporate gym? This is America! The underdog is a sure thing! Every single movie ever made boils down to 'Tortoise & Hare: the Reckoning'. Compare this to Russian theatre, where characters can spend their lives trying win the championship, and at the end suddenly die penniless and alone.

"Yay?"

Don't cheer for the Commies, son. They're the bad guys. We like capitalism here in America.

"Bu' idn't that inconsistent wif ou' rootin' fo' the undadog, guv'? Oi mean, the be'er business gets more bread, and thus succeeds! Idn't the ess'nce o' Communism in makin' sure the li'le guy gets as much as the big 'un?"

...

"Guv'?"

Why are you a nineteenth century British street urchin? And how do you know about Communism? Were you sent by the Time Stalin to get my trust and then kill me?

"It's a fair cop, guv'"

I knew it! Damn you, Time Stalin!