Sunday, June 06, 2004

Learn to talk you idiots!

People! People! We have a language! There are rules! Linguistic rules! Punctuation! Capitalization! Spelling! The mystery and majesty that is the English language! One doesn't just ignore these rules! It’s not done! It’s just not done!

“So,” you ask yourself, “Why the outburst?”

Because I hate how people express themselves over the internet! I just had a conversation wherein someone said "good me2 4 U". What? Listen, will you? Just because something works on a vanity license plate doesn't make it a viable means of communication! Let us explore:

When you type the letter 'u', you have effectively typed one third of the word you’re trying to express. You also look like an idiot. Is 'you' really that difficult of a word to type? Three letters? There’s a certain logic to shortening, say, 'australopithecine'. That’s a word one wouldn't want to type twice. Frankly, it hurt to type it that one time. But it doesn't make sense to shorten two or three letter words, unless you actively want to piss me off. Actually, that makes sense. Maybe they're all out to get me... yes, I can see it. That makes more sense than anything else. By the way, the same idea can be applied to so-called words: r, 4, 2, 8 (and really, how often does a person type 'ate' that it needs to be abbreviated?), 1 (not where it replaces the number one, but in grammatical hodgepodges such as 'NE1', 'sum1' and 'no1'), and a (for 'an'). It's not creative, it's not more efficient, and it's not how the language works. It is a bad habit, it is incorrect, and most importantly, it makes me hate you. Just cut it out!


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