New baby!

Look at my new baby! She's a Huntsman Lite by Victorinox, complete with a whole armload of fabulous features. My old knife, Ron, is still alive and kicking, but, well, he doesn't have a flashlight. Or a saw. And his casing is loose, so he's going into early retirement. No, I've got a new knife now.

Ain't she beautiful? And man oh man does she have a lot crammed in her casing! From top to bottom:

• Big blade
• Saw
• Little blade
• Phillips head screwdriver
• Flashlight
• Can opener/Large screwdriver/Wire stripper
• Bottle opener/Small screwdriver
• Corkscrew
• Fine screwdriver
• The mysterious hook
• Reamer with eyehole
• Eyeglass screwdriver
• Toothpick
• Tweezers
• Ballpoint pen
  And not pictured:
• Scissors
• Straight pin

Jeepers! That's a lottalotta stuff! There are entire societies that accomplish less than this knife! I honestly don't know how civilization advanced this far without ever before having a flashlight literally attached to a saw.

Now I have to name the new girl. My Victoronox Tinker was named after unblemished genius and one of my personal heroes, Ron Popiel, inventor of the Pocket Fisherman, Hair-in-a-Can, and the Showtime Rotisserie Grill (set it and forget it!), the only product capable of turning the fact that it produces enough residual heat to boil water into a selling point. How can I name my new knife in such a prestigious manner? I was thinking of naming it after noted Swiss Army Knife enthusiast Angus MacGyver, but then I decided for arbitrary reasons that the Huntsman is female. So... I got nothing. Damnation!

Posted by Hello