Friday, February 09, 2007

I'm a the winnar!

To-day was the grand handing-out of my reward for having written the best damn English essay in the entire college last semester. I got to stand up in front of an entire building full of English professors and explain to them that, yes, I wrote that paper only because I though the title irresistibly hilarious.

And then I was awarded a twenty-five dollar gift certificate for Barnes and Noble. Which is good, because my wee little notebook is about to fall apart on me. Also, books are fun... or so I've heard. And I enjoy fun things.

In utterly unrelated news: according to the Center for Disease Control, only six and one third percent of the American population is sexually active. This is based on saying that the 20 million folks with HPV represent eight out of ten sexually active Americans, and a little bit of calculation. Now, as we all know, even when they tell the truth, statistics lie (for one thing, this implicitly presumes that everyone with HPV is sexually active) and even when language is clear, it obfuscates (what the hell does 'sexually active' mean, really? Where's the cutoff in how recently it's been, or is it like being a part of the workforce, where as long as you're trying to get some you still get counted?), but still. Six and a third percent... it's depressing! Poor Americans. I feel like I need to hook up with some convenient slut, just to do my part for my country.

"That's right, baby, lie back and think of England... for America."


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