Saturday, September 30, 2006

At some point I'm going to return to actual blogging.

Man, you people straight-up suck at suggesting things I should do with my Time Blimp. That's right, I capitalized it, so maybe you'll understand the importance: Time Blimp. A blimp that can take me whenever I want to be. Well, whenever I want to be in the past, at any rate.

Yeah, I've done some experimentation, and it seems that the future is not, in fact, now. Indeed, the future is later, and it hasn't been built yet. You see, let's stretch the 'stream' metaphor to its breaking point: imagine I am a dam. I block the river entirely, but it is forceful, and pushing me forward along the dry riverbed at a steady rate. So, I'm a rolling dam. Now, I can't move into the dry riverbed because there's no water there yet, because I haven't been there yet. And... and I guess I have gills or something. Wheels and gills. Now, I CAN move backwards, with enough salmon lassoed to me. I am a cowboy dam with wheels and gills. This leaves some riverbed still moist with water (read: timeline moist with... time juice), which is wet enough that I can move back over it easily... up until the point where I reach the dry riverbed I've never been to before, though, at which point it becomes too difficult and I stop. I am a lazy, bewheeled, gilled cowboy-dam.

Simplicity itself!


Anonymous AAMF said... didn't get my beer?

10/01/2006 6:40 AM  
Blogger Ford Dent said...

Obtain for me an ancient barrel of whiskey, there's a good fellow.

10/01/2006 4:46 PM  

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