Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ya-a-a-a-awn!

Oy! I didn't sleep so hot... up all night slaving over salmon DNA. But! It's not all for naught! Oh, it was no easy task, but after trolling through the guts of a half-dozen love-starved trout, I emerged with not only enough upstremezine to carry me to the Paleolithic and back, but a savory dish for two, ideally eaten by candlelight with a hottie on the opposite end of the table. Unless said hottie doesn't enjoy fish, or is some sort of hippie vegetarian-type, in which case fuck that hottie. Figuratively. Or whatever, I don't tell you what to do with your life.

O'course, now I got new problems: I got me a pricy-ass Global Positioning System to plug into my time blimp, only to discover that it ISN'T. It is not a System to put one into a specific Position on the Globe! It should be called the Where-Am-I Dingus! So, now I'm out a hundred bucks I could have spent on rockin' flame decals, AND I can't actually go anywhen without winding up in space somewhere. And I don't WANT to go to space. Space is boring and, I've always felt, vaguely unAmerican. So, I'm going to be working on this problem tonight, I'll keep all y'all posted.

3 Comments:

Anonymous AAMF said...

Damnit man, you should be in college classes instead of wasting your time with this time machine! Didn't you know that you're not worth a damn unless you're in college classes all the time taking college courses and doing collegiate things?! COLLEGE!

9/28/2006 5:27 PM  
Anonymous dnon said...

with the right amount of salmon dna you could make a tivo that fast fowards live tv.

9/28/2006 7:02 PM  
Blogger Ed said...

Oh, man, D-non, that is SO totally my next project! Once I get the time blimp running, o'course.

9/28/2006 8:29 PM  

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