Reasons I should live...

As I was away this weekend, attending to matters of family togetherness, I left an away message on the infernal but indispensable AOL Instant Messenger to the extent that I would like people to leave messages telling me why I should bother to live; there was eight hours of road trippage, so I assure you my melodrama was not NEARLY excessive.

Anyway, here's what I learned.

Coming from both Vincent Avatar and Ford Dent: pork products. Ham and bacon respectively. Well, that makes sense, because they are midwesterners like I am, the both of them, and here in the flyover states we learn the true value of dismembered pig bits. We also appreciate cheese, but that's so instrumental to the midwestern way of life it goes without saying.

Bitney yoinked me into writing a thing for her upcoming 'zine. This combines my love of writing and my love of the word 'zine. Also my love of doing whatever I'm told to do.

Deb and Mel pulled out the 'Snakes on a Plane' card. That movie, you know, is the reason I'm going home on the seventeenth, and not, for example, that period of time before the twenty-fifth when I won't be doing much of anything. Obligatory reference to the current avio-political climate: snakes are neither a liquid, nor a gel. Why aren't you going after the REAL enemies, FAA!

Mel also pointed out that death would mean I'd never see her again. Incidentally, have you lot met Mel? No, you haven't, because I know what I say on this website. Mel, say hello to the people.

Candice offered hugs.

Jess simply reminded me of her existence.

And of course, Amber implied that I am a fortnight away from seeing her in various states of undress. Facetiously, of course. I... I think.

... at least, I THINK I think that.

"You have no idea, do you, boss?"

Of course I do! I think!

"Is existential uncertainty regarding potential partial nudity a satisfactory reason to live?"

Yes, friend, I think it is. I think it is. Two points, Ambs.