Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I hope you die!

So I can save you!

"¿Qué?"

I got CPR certification today!

"¿Qué?"

I'm a certified life saver now! I've got a little card and everything, god for the next two years before I need to take another test. It's not that hard, really, and I'd recommend it to everyone. If nothing else, you get to make out with a mannequin, which is one of my many, many fetishes, so it worked out really well for me. And now, if heart disease catches up to you, I can do my small part in staving off brain death until the EMT arrives.

"¿Qué?"

Well, I'm not actually going to bring people back to life, see. I'm no doctor, I'm merely trained to keep them mostly dead, instead of all the way dead. Um, with apologies to The Princess Bride

"¿Qué?"

Er, the, uh, the 'mostly dead' bit comes from that. It has nothing to do with CPR in an actual sense. It's just, you know, a joke of sorts.

"¿Qué?"

A joke... comedy? Silliness, wittiness, irony, ha ha?

"¿Qué?"

You don't speak a word of English, do you?

"I find that offensive. I speak English fluently. However, I only know one word of Spanish: '¿Qué?'"

And, uh, what do you think this word means?

"I believe it roughly translates to: 'Very interesting, sir. Please, continue this thought.' Am I right?"

You, uh, you learned this where?

"Back of a cereal box."

What cereal?

"Misinformation Krisp, why?"

I think you've been misinformed.

"Drat."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home