Trunk ride!

Saw two plays yesterday. Fun, yes, and I'd talk about them, but this will prove uninteresting to the bulk of the audience. Thus, instead, I will talk about how I got back to the dorm from the plays. I rode in Dan's trunk! No, really. The car was full, and yeah, I could have walked the hundred yards or so myself, but no. I went for the trunk.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to assume that the bulk of you have never ridden in the trunk of a car. It's zany, it is. First of all, even for a guy like me, it's roomier than you'd think. Dan's trunk was mostly empty, but still, I didn't think I would fit at first, but it was kind of comfy. Until the driving started, of course. Now, when I say roomy, I mean I was able to curl up without pressing against metal. I don't mean that I wasn't slamming into the walls with every turn. And there seemed like a whole lot of turns. And they were surprisingly fast! And there was a lot of screaming, although I'm fairly sure some of that was me. Oh, and it's very dark in there. I don't end up in absolute darkness all that often. Not just really dark, people, I'm talking about being cut off from your favorite sense in its entirety. And being unable to move in any effective way. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that, as much as I trust my friends, if they don't feel like letting me out, I don't get out. Such is an unnerving feeling, I must say. But, it's nice practice for when I get in trouble with the mob. I'll be all calm and collected in the far rear of that limo when it comes time to see Vito Scarducci about that loan I'm going to have to repay. You know, right up until I get a bat in the kneecaps, at which point I think I'll start screaming. Man, that Vito doesn't cut you any slack!