Excitement!

Okay! Wallowing done! Story time is now! Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas story time!

So, a warning, you'd best be familiar with some basic aspects of the game, or this'll mean nothing to you. So, go play it a little, then return.

Okay, so this story begins with my character being told to travel across the countryside to purchase an airstrip. Easiest mission in the game, provided you have the $80,000 to purchase with. It's only real purpose is to force you to drive a long, circuitous route that'll open up a lot of the map. But I didn't feel like examining the scenery; this is America, and if it's not instant, it's not really gratification. Thus, I saw a guy on a dirtbike, shot him, took it, and headed off through the desert. Clever me! No harm can come of this, and it's much more efficient!

I ran into area 51. No, literally, there was a big fence, and a notice that I was entering a restricted area, and before I could turn around I had FIVE WANTED STARS! Instantly! No progression up from one, instant five star wanted level. That, ladies and gentlemen, is not a good thing. SWAT teams were chasing me, the FBI was coming after me in unmarked vans, and a helicopter was shooting at me... in the middle of a desert. On a dirt bike. Not good! So, I check the map, and there is a city, Las Venturas, some ways to the east. Off I go! Now, I manage to get all the way to the highway before anything really bad happened, excepting the being rammed and shot at. It was on the highway that things turned ugly, as I ran headlong into an oncoming police car. Oops! So, I get knocked off the bike, and I'm being shot at. So, I try to get back on the bike, and it catches on fire, so I have to run off before it explodes. Or rather, run a few feet, then get hit by a car. Then get up, and get hit by another car. And again! What with the cops arriving, and the bike exploding, I've caused a sort of ten-car pileup here. Eventually I manage to get into a sedan, check the map, and wonder of wonders, there's a Pay and Spray not two blocks away! I might be able to make it there and shake these stars! So off I go! Until I get right next to it, and find myself in a dead end. Well, not quite. There's a wall that I can't break down, but I can climb over!

So, picture this, if you will. Me, running down the street in the general direction of the Pay and Spray, being shot at, losing health, with cops literally descending from ropes from the sky, looking for any kind of non-police vehicle to so I can save my hide. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a little blue two-door! I'm saved! With less than a quarter of my health, no armor, and surrounded by cops who could bust me at any second, I get into the car, and sail down the road, and I can't find the entrance to the Pay and Spray! Seriously, it may have been because I was in a panic, but it took me forever to find that garage! But eventually, I see it, pound on the accelerator and slam into the rear wall, belching smoke as the door closes and I finally lose those stars.

It was so amazing! I wish you could have seen it. Literally the most exciting thing that's happened in that game outside of actual mission events. So cool!