The Legendary Stilton Burger!

Now, far be it from me to waste the time of the Internet at large with the trivial banalities of my life. I don’t like to talk about what I’ve done or what I’m thinking unless I’ve done or am thinking something amusing, enlightening, interesting, outrageous, unusual and sometimes, ‘yay’-inducing. That being said, today I ate a hamburger. No! Did I say hamburger? I meant the Legendary Stilton Burger at Chicago’s own Goose Island Pub! Oh man, is this ever a burger! I shall relay the menu description, though it does not do it justice: “Half pound of black pepper crusted burger, grilled and topped with roasted garlic cloves, Stilton cheese and Düsseldorf mustard on a pumpernickel roll”.

It’s both completely accurate and utterly insufficient. I’m sure that right now you’re thinking that it must be utterly disgusting, and you wouldn’t be mad for thinking so. Stilton isn’t a fancy word for cheddar; it’s an English blue cheese. The beef isn’t lightly seasoned by a man wielding an oversize pepper mill; it’s utterly coated in black pepper. You didn’t misread the description; this sucker is topped with whole cloves of garlic that you will be expected to consume. This is not a meal for the faint of heart! This is a meal that assaults your tongue from all angles, surrounding it with texture and beating it with rusty lengths of flavor pipe. I’m hungry just thinking about it. I’m full, and yet I’m still hungry! Listen kids, if you’re ever in Chicago, do yourself a favor and bring nine bucks to the Goose Island at 1800 N. Clybourn, and let yourself be taken on a wild adventure of exciting and wonderful foodstuffs. Do it for yourself. Do it for me. Do it… do it for the Gipper. You won’t regret a thing.