Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Number 3!

Alright, cats, here it is. My third attempt. This one's got it all... robots, a snarky narrator, extraneous details, and rather unflattering parodies of people I know and love. Read, enjoy, and for the love of Mark comment... I've got three days to make this perfect and I already don't like the robot's name.

It's not robotty enough, that's why.

Suggestions...? Here's the place to suggest 'em. Thank you!


Blogger Ford Dent said...

Firstly, this is an excellent story.

Secondly, you need to do another read through of it, there's aught instead of ought, red instead of read, and a few other mistakes that you should probably correct before submission.

3/28/2007 4:14 AM  
Blogger Ford Dent said...

Oh, and just call him M-5, if calling him Mark bothers you so much.

3/28/2007 4:15 AM  
Anonymous Dad said...

I like the name Mark just fine, but from his description he sure sounds a lot like a Bender (who would probably call the Mark IV a bimbot). If Mark isn't the robot's name, then Marketability Consultant isn't a pun.

On the second line there is a redundant "yet" and in my humble opinion "Earthward" whould be "earthward." Somewhere there is an "our" instead of "hour."

It's an excellent story. My only qualm has to do with Rita's explanation of why Mark is different. It needs some kind of bigger leap in AI to be convincing.

3/28/2007 7:09 AM  

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