State of the Ed address.

Hey kids! Been a while, o'course, on account of I'm attempting to write a novel. So, I figured I'd check in, let you all know that life is going awesome!

No it isn't.

Oh hey. You folks all remember this abstraction of my inner monologue, right. It's been a while.

Yes, I know. Too lazy to type out my font information into the template, eh?

Man, can I help it if you were ever so much more convenient to break out when you were no more than quotation marks? No, no I can't.

Hrm.

Anyway, I don't know what you could be complaining about. I've got all sorts of free time these days, I get to work on my novel, catch up on all my schoolwork, hang out with people, pick up chicks. All that good stuff.

You're bored out of your mind; after you quit you were so depressed you didn't write word one for three days and still haven't recovered. You're not technically behind in schoolwork, but that's only because the procrastination hasn't caught up with you yet. You're spending far more time than usual cooped up in your room, and as for picking up chicks...

All right, all right. That hasn't happened either. If anything I've put down a chick. Only, you know... I didn't kill her or anything. And furthermore, buying food on my mother's money is just depressing. It's not that I needed that job, or even that I particularly liked that job it's just that... well...

It's that having a job is NORMAL. It's a thing that NORMAL people do and now you're abnormal again. Or rather, more so, I suppose.

Yeah, I couldn't have put it better myself. I no longer feel like a proper person, but, well...

The idiot man-child, neither fit nor capable nor deserving of interaction with the real world.

Um... yeah. So I've--

Been moping and mopey, living a little half-life in your little apartment, avoiding the real world and drowning in distractions.

... yeah. Stop that. Because, mopey or not, I'm not depressed! I'm not emo all of a sudden! I've still got my facilities and am aware of my mopeyness, which is good!

I'd warn against confusing "not as bad as it could possibly be" with "good", but that's actually fairly good. Provided you de-mope within a reasonable timeframe.

I will! Step one: cop to moping. Here I am, Mopey Mel, coppin' to it.

Step two: Reassert the belief and understanding that you have worth and worthiness, not just as a person in general (deserving of the same credit and slack you give to others but invariably deny to yourself) but as a unique individual who is talented and beloved, someone who is admittedly not like the masses but in a good way that, while logically he can comprehend, at his core is unable to believe.

Dude, step two is "get a snack." I don't know what the hell step that is, but it's YEARS away.

Of course. Silly me. You get that snack Ed. Snack on.

That's what I'm talkin' about! I'm talkin' about SNACKS.