Friday, October 27, 2006

Fuck this, I quit!

Man, do you ever want someone to get mad at you? Like, you want them to take umbrage at you, just so you can respond to that umbrage in a loud and terrifying manner?

I think there is, hidden within every one of us, a little man who wants to say "Fuck this, I quit!" He is constantly on the lookout for excuses to break out the FTIQ-bomb, ever-ready to respond to whatever imagined affronts are put upon him with a rant and an exit. It may be the fault of Hollywood, and other such media. But you know, I doubt it. I think the reverse is true: the longstanding tradition of little men getting mild comuppance on their employers through harsh parting words is a symptom of that little spark of revolution that lives inside of us. The little man who's ready and waiting for our boss to be a complete bitch, so they can inform her that she is a complete bitch. The wee little bit of every person that lives to be indignant, that relishes self-rightiousness, that will find no greater pleasure than in turning the tables of power and ruining the day of someone who would ruin yours.

... tomorrow I'm getting up at eight to go into work. I wasn't supposed to work today, but they scheduled me to, and I did not deal with that in the proper way, so I will make amends. I'm doing this of my own volition, because I am a nice guy. And I'm sure that the people there understand how mistakes can be made, and appreciate my attempting to make amends in this fashion. But by god, there is a part of me that wants nothing more than to be called into my boss's office to be chewed out. There is a part of me dying to be confronted with someone who, after being informed that I admitted to my mistake, apologized, came in when I have other things to do, and don't intend to make the same mistake again, will persist in being a bitch solely for the sake of being a bitch. The little inner man thrills at the possibility to say his line, and one hopes the opportunity to say it doesn't arise, because the great big outer man might not be up to resisting the temptation.


Anonymous AAMF said...

Oh man, I so got to do this yesterday at the post office. After about 10 minutes of being put to the side because I did not have a slip saying that I had a package waiting for me at the post office , which the mail man failed to give to me, the teller goes to the back and looks for my package. She comes back with a "thanks for waisting my time" look on her face and informs me that there is no package for me, and I inform her that I have a tracking number that tells me otherwise. She goes to the computer and looks it up and she clearly sees that I do indeed have a package that failed to be delivered. She then responds with "::sucks teeth" They probably addressed it incorrectly" to which I reply with "No, you guys probably lost it you fucking idiot." God that felt good.

10/27/2006 3:46 PM  
Blogger Ford Dent said...

I have a little man that usually wants to get into a fight. Not walk out, but walk out with blood on my fists.

10/27/2006 4:44 PM  

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