Things not to do:

• 1. Bite Nicole's nose. It seems she is less than appreciative of that, though goodness knows why. Methinks it's just her inner prudishness acting up. Underneath that foxy exterior, she is an elderly Amish man named Jedediah. Not Jed... Jedediah.
• 2. Start lists when I only really have one item to put in them. I mean, yeah, it's a classy way of presenting information, but it also writes you into a corner real fast if you aren't careful. And I ain't careful.
• 3. Sit at a desk, updating my website with a meaningless list, when there is a pretty lady lying not two yards from me, with a nose begging to be bit again. In fact... be right back...
• 4. See number one.