Ten pipers piping on their pipes, Pipey. PIPE!

"Wait," I hear you say, "Shouldn't the pipers come on the eleventh day? On the tenth day of Christmas, you true love should give you lords, right?" Well no! I switched it up, gave on of the pipers a dutchy and a trampoline, and fixed things up so I get a plethora of pipers on day ten. Don't like it, then blame Amber. She's not my true love, but she knows her way around internal alliteration, that puts her pretty high on my list. My list of people. Whoa, why does that sound creepy? "My list of people"? It's not my list of people I'm stalking, or the list of people I plan on killing or anything. (Note: Doesn't mean folks on my list are off the hook, cross me at your own risk, Ambs. Ambs would be you, Amber. It's your new nickname. For some reason. I don't know why, really. Don't hate me!)

So, anyway, moving past the pipers. I did something sort of dumb last night. Well, not awful, no, but, well, I shaved. I've had a moustache for, well, the better part of the last six months. I lost the chin hair a while back, and that was a definite improvement, but the 'stache... man. I miss it. I think I've got the same problem as my good friend Damn Handsome Dan Hansen, which is that without facial hair, he looks dumb. He doesn't look bad, I mean he looks like someone who isn't all that smart. You take one look at him, and find yourself hoping for his parents' sakes that he's really good at football. I think I've got a little bit of that too. I also look a bit like a woman, to the extent that my old IDs with clean-shaven pictures have been repeatedly thought to belong to a woman. A nice lady at a Chinese restaurant asked me who the pretty girl was, once. I think I mentioned that before. Big self-esteem boost, that.

So, why would I do something like this? I mean, it's not like there's anyone who might not want me to have a moustache... and I certainly don't plan on smooching anyone within the next couple of days, right? No chance on there being a big freakin' date the day after tomorrow, right? I mean, I don't live an hour away from the most beautiful girl in the world whom I've been dying to see since, oh, say, early October or anything like that, right? Oh... wait... yeah...

Two more days!