LLLLLLLLLLL

Eleven lords a-leaping. Don't know why lords would leap, except I imagine that the former piper is quite pleased with his new station in life. The rest of them, I don't know. Pure lordly joy, I guess. Also, giving lords as gifts? My true love must be freaking rich!

Oh. Speaking of my true love... guess what incredible, life-changing event I'm hours away from as I write this. Sorry to gloss over the twelve days foolishness, I know you're all heartbroken, but I'm far too excited to carry on with that. My next post will be artfully crafted some fifty miles to the northwest, in the arms of the girl I've been obsessing over for the past several months. It... I... so... yay! I never thought I'd see the day, but it's freaking tomorrow!

I'm going to see Nicole! Nicole, my Wonderful! The girl I adore! After waiting far too long we finally get to meet face to face!

I AM FREAKING OUT!

Sorry kids, I know you come here for the comedy, or rather komedy... hell, let's go all the way to qomedy... but, um, yeah. Too nervous to be as funny as I can be. I don't do this often; if I wanted a place to vent my emotions I'd write terrible poetry and put it on LiveJournal. But at the moment, I'm going crazy. What if everything goes wrong? I know, I know, she's not going to hate me on sight, I'm not going to screw everything up, she'll love her Christmas gift, and she'll be rather fond of me too. This does not mean that believe any of these things. My mind is a barren field where self-confidence does not take root, and so logically knowing that things will go just fine does preclude my actually worrying about tripping over my own feet, falling forward, and crushing her to death. You say morbid, I say cautious.

And of course, there's the fact that I've never done this relationship thing before to contend with. That's right, after the better part of two decades, I'm finally meeting my first girlfriend. The hell do I know about being a boyfriend? I don't know how to kiss! I'll end up swallowing my own tongue and choking! Not good! What if she's bored? What if she doesn't like me? What if I can't make her as happy as she should be? What if I'm just a terrible person, fated to die poor, loveless, and alone in a ditch somewhere? Aargh!

See, I know exactly what she'd say right about now. Stop thinking. I'm perfect, it'll be perfect, I'll figure everything out, stop thinking. And, at least as far as 'stop thinking' she's right. Thinking is not good for me. I tend to go a little obsessive. I'm usually not such a wreck, but from time to time... well... I should stop thinking. I should get some sleep. I should do a lot of things. But I can't. Too anxious, too on-edge. Too excited. In one day, I'll be the happiest little boy that you ever did see... right now I think my head is going to explode. Or implode. Or kerplode. Or simply plode. That's right, my head's ploding. Until 8:25 tomorrow morning, there's going to be a pretty continuous plosion.

You know, I'm also seeing Spamalot, that Monty Python musical, today. And my brother's coming by! That's all exciting, but somehow it's getting lost in the shuffle. I love Python, and I love Bert, but... well, um, I'm just going to let this sentence trail off awkwardly. Until tomorrow. Wish me luck.