I'm Ron Burgundy?

Okay, kids, if you've seen the trailers for Anchorman: the Legend of Tom Burgundy then you know pretty much what you're in for. A thrilling, fast-paced medical drama. Or so you'd think! In fact, it's a comedy about news reporters in the seventies. A good one, at that! 'Tis a summer for good comedy, it seems. What with this, Dodgeball, and the inevitable greatness of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle ('Dude, Where's my Car?' is, incidentally, the greatest movie ever made, so I can only assume that 'White Castle' will rock my socks off, literally. I honestly expect my socks to go flying off on their own accord due to the sheer cinematic brilliance. But, I digress.)

You have your movies that are filled with pointed barbs, high-class intelligent comedy. You have your movies that beat you over the head, gross-out shocker comedy. You have movies that go every which way and don't stop, madcap machine-gun comedy. And then you have movies where everything just gets more and more absurd, and what seems like a rational universe at first slowly rationalizes itself into a place where literally anything can happen, and also Ben Stiller has a cameo. That, then, would be 'Anchorman'. The last one, the bastion of absurdity one. Which is good, as it's probably the best of the three.

"Um, there were four, sir."

Ah, Enrique my boy, you forget, gross-out comedy isn't really comedy. Much like iced tea isn't really tea, and 'Star Trek' novels aren't really 'Star Trek'. Or novels. Or anything more than kindling, usually. You know, now that I think of it, this summer is showing a marked change in that the comedies are actually imbued with, well, comedy. Last year got us, well, what? 'Pirates of the Caribbean', yes, but that was an action/adventure. I mean what was there in terms of sheer comedy?

"My name's not Enrique, sir."

Shut up. Now answer my question.

"Um... 'Finding Nemo'?"

Dude, that's Pixar.

"But..."

Dude, Pixar doesn't count. Everyone knows Pixar rocks.

"But I just-"

Dude, shut up! We don't lump Pixar in with the Wayans Brothers. Ever!

"Okay! I'm sorry! It's just that..."

What part of "shut up" do you just not understand? Well? Answer me, Enrique!

"My name's not Enrique!"

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

"I... um... shouldn't you be talking about 'Anchorman'?"

So help me, I will eat your brain and absorb your knowledge if you say even one more word to me! Is that clear?

"Aaah!"

Enrique? Come back, Enrique! Enrique, I was kidding, I wouldn't really absorb your knowledge! The brain doesn't work that way! Stop running away! Oh, Hell. Child services isn't going to be happy.