Thursday, March 09, 2006

Well, if nothing else, I picked the right week...

...to get sick.

Oh, man, my brain feels like it's been wrapped in cotton, and because I pinched a nerve in my back (again! One more time and I'm going to consider it worth a visit to the chiropractor), there are certain angles it still hurts to sit at. Angles I gent to discover by hitting them.

Hmm. Presented for your approval: problems with the human body!

  • Illness makes one susceptible to illness.
  • Too many organs!
  • Immortality unlikely, at best.
  • Signal for hunger and fullness too similar, also unreliable.
  • Single sense cluster dramatically overexposed.
  • External genitalia... just silly, really.
  • Needs near-constant maintenance and upkeep.
  • Infants are virtually useless. Seriously.
  • Cancer. What the hell?
  • The entire gastrointestinal system is a bit of a bodge-up.
  • Limited offensive capabilities (NO LASERS).
  • Inability to lick elbows.
  • Inability to lick eyebrows.
  • Generally limited licking capacity.
  • Skeletons look scary. They should be cuter.
  • Hello? Gills?
  • Let's not even get into the brain, here. A jury-rigged rush-job if ever there was one.
  • Lack of standardization.
  • Hair EVERYWHERE! And it keeps growing back!
  • Nudity impossible in certain climates.
  • Myopia, dammit.
  • Real-life versions often fail to match those seen on TV.
  • Pockets do not come inbuilt, and must be purchased seperately.
  • ... well, okay, there are some pockets, but it's not recommended that one stores keys in them.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that if there is an Intelligent Designer, he's an idiot.

1 Comments:

Anonymous AAMF said...

It is true. If any man on earth were like Jack Bauer, he would LITERALLY explode from pure, unadulterated awesome.

3/09/2006 8:34 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home