Well, if nothing else, I picked the right week...
...to get sick.
Oh, man, my brain feels like it's been wrapped in cotton, and because I pinched a nerve in my back (again! One more time and I'm going to consider it worth a visit to the chiropractor), there are certain angles it still hurts to sit at. Angles I gent to discover by hitting them.
Hmm. Presented for your approval: problems with the human body!
- Illness makes one susceptible to illness.
- Too many organs!
- Immortality unlikely, at best.
- Signal for hunger and fullness too similar, also unreliable.
- Single sense cluster dramatically overexposed.
- External genitalia... just silly, really.
- Needs near-constant maintenance and upkeep.
- Infants are virtually useless. Seriously.
- Cancer. What the hell?
- The entire gastrointestinal system is a bit of a bodge-up.
- Limited offensive capabilities (NO LASERS).
- Inability to lick elbows.
- Inability to lick eyebrows.
- Generally limited licking capacity.
- Skeletons look scary. They should be cuter.
- Hello? Gills?
- Let's not even get into the brain, here. A jury-rigged rush-job if ever there was one.
- Lack of standardization.
- Hair EVERYWHERE! And it keeps growing back!
- Nudity impossible in certain climates.
- Myopia, dammit.
- Real-life versions often fail to match those seen on TV.
- Pockets do not come inbuilt, and must be purchased seperately.
- ... well, okay, there are some pockets, but it's not recommended that one stores keys in them.
I think what I'm trying to say here is that if there is an Intelligent Designer, he's an idiot.
1 Comments:
It is true. If any man on earth were like Jack Bauer, he would LITERALLY explode from pure, unadulterated awesome.
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