Sunday, December 19, 2004

Last full day.

So, this is my final night here at Iona. Tomorrow I leave in the morning for a final, come back to get my bags, and then endeavor to get a taxi to ferry me to a tiny airport I've never been to before. Now, I'm not one who is prone to stress about much, and when I stress, I stress hardcore, but I must say I'm a touch on-edge about an unfamiliar way home. I mean, it's vastly more efficient and cheaper than the 'walk to the train station, train to New York City, taxi to LaGuardia' method that I've used in the past, but it's still not entirely comfortable. I'm not a fan of traveling in general, and traveling all on my lonesome, deep in enemy territory where I'm outnumbered and unloved... well, I'm not exactly itching to go. Oh, I'm quite eager to be home, for many reasons which I've gone into already, but it's times like these when I remember that B.A. Barracus never had to deal with air travel, because the rest of the team always drugged him and dragged him unconscious body around with them.

Yeah, when I'm ill at ease I think of the A-Team. What, you've got a problem with that? I also think of MacGyver in times of peril. These are my role models. I can think of worse ones. MacGyver was a vegetarian who refused to use a gun. B.A. is a very large man who beat up other people, and encouraged children to drink milk. These are very good, if ever-so-slightly mutually exclusive, lessons. Actually, no one on the A-Team ever actually shot anyone, despite years of pointing machine guns every which way possible. Then again, this is also a show that's had cars blow up and roll down a hill, and then the occupants crawl out the window in neatly pressed suits. Not exactly the most accurate thing every, but damned if it's not full of heart. Man, what happened to these action-adventure shows that glorified being a clever bastard, or for our English friends, a cheeky monkey? Now we've got reality television, which idealizes deviousness (deviousness is basically cleverness that's tasted blood). What's wrong with this picture? I don't want my children to grow up in a world without MacGyver! And no, Jack O'Neill doesn't count! He's smarmy, yes, and he's broken the laws of science and logic once or twice, but he could never pull off the Map Gambit. And if you've seen the Map Gambit, you know what I'm talking about. And if you haven't... well. Pfft. Woe betide you, buddy.


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