Things one doesn't want to wake up with...

• A gun pointed at one's head.
• No clothes.
• Most of one's beloved pet.
• Blindingly intense chest pain.

The last one there is what I woke up with this morning, twelve hours ago, and I can still feel some remnants of it. It's the worst way I've ever been woken up (and I've been the recipient of a dead pigeon on the face; one which suddenly and unexpectedly turned out not to be dead at all). For a few minutes I was convinced I was having a heart attack, and I damn near had a panic attack. It took two hours and a lot of Pepto-Bismol to get me back to a point where death no longer seemed inviting. I feel reasonably human now, but what haunts me is the prospect of waking up like that again. I have to figure out what I did last night to bring this upon myself. Let's see...

I had a submarine sandwich for dinner: Granted, not a bowl of warm mush, but nothing too extreme... especially when the Quizno's lady gets stingy with the vinegar.

I redesigned this page: While losing the old template caused me some degree of heartache, all the same I didn't care that much.

I ate a bowl of chicken vindaloo at four in the morning, after I'd been up all night and right before I went to sleep, and also when I didn't think the vindaloo was spicy enough I added some Tobasco sauce, and all this was after a lady at the store where I bought the vindaloo said that it was very spicy and always gave her heartburn: No, no I don't see how that's related at all.

DAMN THESE MYSTERIES!