So how about that damn clock, Ed?

About time! Wait, wait, let's not get into this all half-cocked. Let's make sure everything is taken care of...

Connection: Stable! In that I'm at the computer lab, so the Internet madness is not going to affect me at the moment.

Rehearsal: Over! And it's not going to begin until seven p.m., so I'm in no rush to get a post out, I have all day.

Nicole: Asleep! And in fact, the reason I dropped by the computer lab in the first place because, yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am just that pathetic, to come down here on the off chance that she was still up and online. Although it is only eleven where she is... No, nevermind, I've been mentioning the clock for the past week, let's get on with this. Now is a golden opportunity that may never come again!

So, I got a new alarm clock recently. A nice one, too! Here's the thing: it has a built in lamp. Yeah! No, imagineer with me: It's vaguely shaped like a pyramid that's started melting, and on the base is the clock face with those number-things, along with various controls for the radio aspect that every alarm clock has these days, whether you need it or not, which, let's face it, you don't. But then, one can grasp the top, and with a yank upwards... lamp! The rounded point of the pyramid flies up, attached to the base with a pair of folding stick-things, and, with a simple push of a button, light is! Huzzah! You become a low-rent deity, letting there be light at any given opportunity, and taking it away on any given whim. Speaking of taking away, and this, folks is the good part, when you want the light to not be, just slam down the top of the lamp! When it hits the base, there's a little plastic... um... it's either a dingus or a thingy, I'm not sure which, but whichever it is, it triggers the switch and makes the light go away. It's great!

The problem was, all the light sources in my room were far from my bed. I couldn't lie in bed and do things involving light, unless I wanted to get out of bed and travel to the opposite wall before I sleep. Which I didn't. Because I'm lazy. So now, I can read a book, in bed, and when I'm ready to get my sleep on, WHAM! The light is gone. The light is gone! Verily, the dark again shall reign! Ten thousand years without light! Bwah ha hah, ha hah! AND NO FLAME SHALL PIERCE MY VEIL OF DARKNESS!

Oh, and then I gave my old alarm clock to Candy, because she really needed one, and I'm just that caring and generous and sweet and lovable a guy. Aw...