The Agony and the Ecstasy

The Agony: Baseball? What the hell? Why is baseball on UPN? Is... is this some sort of joke? I'm supposed to be watching the season premiere of Enterprise right now! Archer's trapped back in an alternate past with extraterrestrial Nazis! The timeline is in shambles, the ship is in pieces and the Xindi are in their own past and I'm watching freaking baseball? What's wrong with this picture? Besides, of course, everything? I... it... if they don't start the show right after the game I'm going to hold my breath until everybody's face turns blue. I'm not even kidding; this isn't a one-off episode, it's the damned season premier! The HELL, people! This shouldn't even be happening! I'm going to be forced to wait until SUNDAY MORNING to see it! That's more than a DAY! I think I speak without hyperbole when I say that this is the greatest tragedy to ever befall anybody, in the entire history of existence as we know it, forever.

The Ecstasy: Oh, um... er... [Blushes]. I'll table that one for today. Can't be talking of such things on my mother's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Mom!