Two million speakers, and one of them is William Shatner.

So, I'm learning Esperanto.

"But why?"

Good question, Francisco.

"..."

...

"Are you going to answer it?"

Hmm? Oh! Yeah, uh, I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's Nicole's fault, though I'm not exactly able to say how it's her fault. All I know is, we were talking about languages, and the subject came up, and suddenly I'm typing up sentences and sending them out to be corrected and ten steps away from Esperanto fluency.

"I don't remember you two talking about language at any point."

Well it's not going to be in the comments, Francisco! Unlike you, I have a life outside this website.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

It means you don't really exist, stupid! You're just a... a narrative device I use to better illustrate my point. Sometimes you're a little boy named Enrique, sometimes you're just a noncorporeal voice, you don't exist!

"How can you say that? Of course I exist! I have a home! I have a wife!"

Oh yeah? What does your wife look like?

"She's beautiful!"

No, not 'how does she look?', 'what does she look like?'. Describe her face!

"I... I can't! Oh god, it's true! My life... it's a lie! I... NO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!"

Whoa! You best calm the hell down, Francisco, before I delete you entirely! I could just be talking with the duck, couldn't I? Duck!

Quack!

Damn straight! Now, Francisco, are you going to ask me how the Esperanto is going or am I going to have to get serious?

"Um... so... uh... how's the Esperanto going, Ed?"

It's going very well, thank you Francisco. I'm enjoying it, I'll be sure to keep you updated on my progress.

"Th-thank you, sir."