Lovcraftian Horror!

Yeah, so, I have a half-hour left in which to make the mandatory-under-threat-of-potential-verbal-abuse post, and nothing that I particularly feel like talking about, so I'm definitely going to pull out last year's bio. Because it's fun, and amusing, and suchlike. Here 'tis:

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As my grand-uncle’s sole heir and executor, I was expected to go through all his belongings, but I was most intrigued by the contents of a false drawer I discovered quite inadvertently. A hideous clay figure presided over a disjointed series of papers, all headed by the improbable and unheard of name: ED. The manuscript was frightening enough, a disparate collection of horrors, from 'wizardry' in the early ages of men, to murders in Boise, Idaho, to infant cannibalism in turn of the century Russia. All cases were otherwise completely unrelated, but that someone during the investigation would assign blame to a creature referred to only by that impossible jumble of syllables only able to be rendered as ED. And the figure? It seemed to be some sort of monster; a human caricature as only a diseased fancy could conceive. A massive, bespectacled head surmounted a grotesque and rotund body, but it was the air of malevolence about the thing that made it so shockingly frightful. The most maddening aspect, however, was in the design carved into the base; a design which, if viewed from the proper angle, seemed to spell that horrid parody of a word that haunts me to this day and will forevermore: ED!