Oy! I didn't sleep so hot... up all night slaving over salmon DNA. But! It's not all for naught! Oh, it was no easy task, but after trolling through the guts of a half-dozen love-starved trout, I emerged with not only enough upstremezine to carry me to the Paleolithic and back, but a savory dish for two, ideally eaten by candlelight with a hottie on the opposite end of the table. Unless said hottie doesn't enjoy fish, or is some sort of hippie vegetarian-type, in which case fuck that hottie. Figuratively. Or whatever, I don't tell you what to do with your life.
O'course, now I got new problems: I got me a pricy-ass Global Positioning System to plug into my time blimp, only to discover that it ISN'T. It is not a System to put one into a specific Position on the Globe! It should be called the Where-Am-I Dingus! So, now I'm out a hundred bucks I could have spent on rockin' flame decals, AND I can't actually go anywhen without winding up in space somewhere. And I don't WANT to go to space. Space is boring and, I've always felt, vaguely unAmerican. So, I'm going to be working on this problem tonight, I'll keep all y'all posted.
Damnit man, you should be in college classes instead of wasting your time with this time machine! Didn't you know that you're not worth a damn unless you're in college classes all the time taking college courses and doing collegiate things?! COLLEGE!
ReplyDeletewith the right amount of salmon dna you could make a tivo that fast fowards live tv.
ReplyDeleteOh, man, D-non, that is SO totally my next project! Once I get the time blimp running, o'course.
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