Gentlemen, our worst fears have been realized.

My mother now knows I have a website. It's only a matter of time before she figures out how to get here. Thus, regrettably, all references to my liquored-up sex orgies are to be removed forthwith. I know how entertaining the stories are, I know how much you love the pictures and video clips, but it's over. Note that the liquored-up sex orgies themselves will still take place- usual place, usual time- but for the sake of my dear mother, I must pretend that they don't. Alas, we all must make some sacrifices.