Uno. Dos. Tres. Catorce.

Hello, hello! I'm at a place called AMERICA. And we're celebrating her birthday the only way we know how... grilled meats. Or, for Jay and Tasha, nothing, because DAMMIT people, if you don't eat some sort of animal on the fourth of July you don't get to eat anything. It's in the constitution, people. Thou shalt eat animals.

Wait, I think I'm mixing up the constitution and the ten commandments again... dang, I feel like a, uh, er... hell, I don't follow politics closely enough to know who I'm supposed to make fun of with this one. Surely a Republican pundit, but which one? Eh, screw't. I don't really care. I ain't going to do research for a weak joke, so I'll just scream some random gibberish and be done with it.

GRAWP! SCRAAAW! EEEROK! WYKAGLE! Governor Rod Blagojevich!