What if...

... advertising wasn't right for me?

Let's be reasonable. I picked it because I had to pick something and it didn't seem so bad. But it's so... corporate. There are no people, there are statistics... there are committees and subcommittees and research and development and meetings and strategy statements... reams of paper and so much manipulation. Majoring in advertising has only gone on to convince me that advertising is a Bad Thing!

This is the sort of thing I wish I had figured out before I was a junior. Because if I change now I would be... a disappointment.

Oh, Mother would never agree with that statement, and Father wouldn't either, but since when has what people actually thought prevented me from thinking they hated me? I'd switch to an English major, and I'd need a bevy on new classes, and I'd feel awful about that. I might have to take another year, and I'd feel awful about that. I'd have wasted time and money and energy and feel awful about that.

On the other hand, I'm majoring in a subject that I recently realized I cannot do. I simply cannot. Advertising is a blight on the landscape, an unavoidable but all the same horrible failure on the part of our economic system (which I all the same acknowlege as the best available), and I just don't think I can do it.

If I have to hate myself, I don't want to make a career out of it.

More thought and research and some heartrending phone calls in the next few days. Wish me luck.